Bad News, Good News, Great News

The day after a man lost his wife in a scuba diving accident, he was greeted by two grim-faced policemen at his door.

"We're sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife."

"Well, tell me!" the man said.

The policeman said, "We have some bad news, some good news and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?"

Fearing the worse, Mr. Wilkens said, "Give me the bad news first."

So the policeman said, "I'm sorry to tell you sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in San Francisco Bay."

"Oh my god!," said Mr. Wilkens, overcome by emotion. Then, remembering what the policeman had said, he asked, "What's the good news?"

"Well," said the policeman, "When we pulled her up she had two five-pound lobsters and a dozen good size Dungeoness crabs on her."

"If that's the good news than what's the great news?!", Mr. Wilkens demanded.

The policeman said, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow morning."

Who's horse is that outside?

The lone ranger and Tonto were sitting in a pub having a shot of whiskey when a guy comes in and asks, "Who's horse is that outside?"

The Lone Ranger stood up and said, " That's Silver and he is my horse...is there something wrong?"

The man replied, "Yes, it's dying of heat exhaustion out there!!"

The Lone ranger said to Tonto, "Go out side and give Silver a drink and then run around him really fast to get abreeze going!" So out Tonto goes and the Lone Ranger continues hisdrink.

All of a sudden another man comes into the bar and says, "Who owns that horse out there?"

The Lone Ranger can't believe it and he stands up and says " I do. What's wrong with it now?

The man replies, "You left your Injun' running!

Cabs

Two cab drivers met. "Hey," asked one, "what's the ideaof painting one side of your cab red and the other side blue?"

"Well," the other responded, "when I get into an accident, you should see how all the witnesses contradict each other."

Book about Animals

A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter.

Mother: "What does the cow say?"

Child: "Moooo!"

Mother: "Great! What does the cat say?"

Child: "Meow."

Mother: "Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?"

The wide-eyed little three-year-old looked up at her mother and replied, "Bud."

 

They're coming!

Two boys from the city were on a camping trip. The mosquitoes were so fierce the boys had to hide under their blankets to keep from being bitten.

Then one of them saw some lightning bugs, and said to his friend: "we might as well give up, they're coming at us with flashlights!"

Solution Found

I hope I haven't misunderstood your instructions. Because to be honest, none of this Y to K problem makes any sense to me. At any rate I have finished converting all the months on all my calendars so that the year 2000 is ready to go with the following new months:

Januark

Februark

Mak

Julk