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Josh had always been a big fan of Walt Disney. He saw every film that the Disney Studios put out. So it was no surprise when he headed to Disneyland looking for a job as a tour guide. And his interview went something like this: Interviewer, "So why would you like to work for us?" Josh, "I've been a big fan for many years. I reckon that I know as much about your characters as anyone. I'd make a darn good tour guide."
Interviewer, "Tell you what. If you can answer 3 questions, I'll give you the job of Head Tour Guide." Josh, "Sounds fair."
Interviewer, "First Question: Who is Mickey Mouse's girlfriend?" Josh, "Minnie Mouse."
Interviewer, "Second Question: Name our 2 most famous dogs." Josh, "Pluto and Goofy."
Interviewer, "Very Good. Speaking of dogs, I assume you saw the movie 101 Dalmatians?"
Josh, "Sure did."
Interviewer, "Okay, name them."
"George is so forgetful," the sales manager complained. "It's a wonder he can sell anything. I asked him to pick me up some sandwiches on his way back from lunch, and I'm not sure he'll even remember to come back." Just then the door flew open, and in bounced George. "You'll never guess what happened!" he shouted. "While I was at lunch, I met Old Man Brown, who hasn't bought anything from us for five years. Well, we got to talking and he gave me this half-million dollar order!" "See," sighed the sales manager to his secretary. "I told you he'd forget the sandwiches."
Responding to the population problem, the census bureau claims that, worldwide, somewhere every eight seconds, a woman is having a baby. Problem solved. . . let's find her and stop her.
LEASH LAW: The Cecil County (Md.) Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals has asked local officials to make it illegal for dogs to ride in the back of pickup trucks because they might injure themselves by jumping out of the moving vehicles.
Gene Howell, 75, says such a law would mean he wouldn't have room for everyone in the cab in his truck. "I suppose what I could do is have my wife ride there in the back and let the dog ride up front with me," he says. "'Course, I don't know that my wife would stay back there like the dog does. The dog is trained."
Once upon a time, there were 3 old miners – Day, Night and Odd. They got their nicknames as Day worked the day shift, Night worked the night shift and Odd worked whenever Day or Night had time off.
Each would take their pickax, their lantern, and their lunch, and go down into the deep, dark mine to do a 12-hour shift. Mine regulations required them to stay until the other man arrived.
All went well for the first 6 months. Each relieving the other on time. But then something went wrong. It happened just as Odd had finished his cycle of shifts. Night came down and took over. In the meantime Day got very sick. At the end of his 12 hours, Night was anxious to go home but Day did not show up on time. And Night couldn't leave the mine due to the Mine's regulations. So he stayed and waited.
But, as we said, Day was very sick and could not report to work for a whole week. Night finally went mad after having gone such a long time without seeing the Light of Day.
You do know what would have happened if it had been three wise WOMEN instead of men, don't you? They would have asked for directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the baby, cleaned the stable, made a casserole and brought disposable diapers as gifts!
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