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A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head!
But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion.
After 21 years, the son is old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar and tearfully tells the son he is proud of him.
Dad orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol.
Swoooooop! A torso pops out!
The bar is dead silent, then bursts in a whoop of joy.
The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink!" The bartender still shakes his head in dismay.
Swoooooop! Two arms pop out!
The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink!" The bartender ignores the whole affair.
Swoooooop! Two legs pop out!
The bar is in chaos. The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God.
The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left … then to the right ... right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly.
The bar falls silent. The father moans in grief.
The bartender sighs and says, "That boy should have quit while he was a head."
A first grade teacher gave each student the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with the rest. Here are some of the results:
As you shall make your bed so shall you … mess it up.
Better be safe than … punch a 5th grader.
Strike while the … bug is close.
It's always darkest before … Daylight Savings Time.
Under underestimate the power of … termites.
You can lead a horse to water, but … HOW?
Don't bite the hand that … looks dirty.
No news is … impossible.
A miss is as good as a … Mr.
You can't teach an old dog new … math.
If you lie down with the dogs, you'll … stink in the morning.
Love all, Trust … ME.
The pen is mightier than the … pigs.
An idle mind is … the best way to relax.
Where there's smoke there's … pollution.
Happy the bride who … gets all the presents
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