Hugo was a small nondescript man who lived in a little town in England. His sole purpose in life was to go to church every day and ring the church bells. He would trudge through the town square nodding his hellos to people but never saying a word. No one seemed to know his name but they all recognized him on sight. One day, as he was pulling on the bell rope it became tangled. Hugo had to climb up into the tower and try to untangle it. Just as he finished fixing the snarl the priest happened to walk by the dangling bell rope. Realizing that he hadn’t heard the chimes all day he grabbed the rope and gave a mighty pull. Poor Hugo was hit square in the face with the swinging bell and crashed to the ground right below the bell tower. As the people gathered around and gawked at the tragedy some one asked who was it? A person on the fringe of the crowd stated, "I don’t know his name but the face rings a bell."

An 18th-century vagabond in England, exhausted and famished, came to a roadside Inn with a sign reading: "George and the Dragon."

He knocked.

The Innkeeper's wife stuck her head out a window.

"Could ye spare some victuals?"

The woman glanced at his shabby, dirty clothes. "No!" she shouted.

"Could I have a pint of ale?"

"No!" she shouted. "Could I at least use your privvy?"

"No!" she shouted again.

The vagabond said, "Might I please...?"

"What now?" the woman screeched, not allowing him to finish.

"D'ye suppose," he asked, "that I might have a word with George?"

2 Polocks were attending a friend's funeral. While viewing the body:Polock #1- "Gee, he looks pretty good!"Polock #2- "He should, he just got out of the hospital yesterday."

Two cannibals are eating a clown when one turns to the other and asks, "Does this taste funny to you?"

Q: What is pigskin mostly used for?

A: To hold pigs together!