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In prison you spend the majority of your time in
an 8' X 10' cell.
At work you spend most of your time in a 6' X 8' cubicle.
In prison you get three meals a day.
At work you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for
that one.
In prison you get time off for good behavior.
At work you get rewarded for good behavior with more work.
In prison a guard locks and unlocks all the doors
for you.
At work you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all
the doors yourself.
In prison you can watch TV and play games.
At work you get fired for watching TV and playing games.
In prison they ball-and-chain you when you go
somewhere.
At work you are just ball-and-chained.
In prison you get your own loo.
At work you have to share.
In prison they allow your family and friends to
visit.
At work you cannot even speak to your family and friends.
In prison all expenses are paid by taxpayers, with
no work required.
At work you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they
deduct taxes from your salary to pay for the prisoners.
In prison you can join many programs which you can
leave at any time.
At work there are some programs you can never get out of.
In prison there are wardens who are often
sadistic.
At work we have managers.
A woman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York". The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?"
"Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the customer.
After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am. I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere."
The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!"
The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?"
"That's it! I knew it was a big animal!"
...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
After the divorce, her teenage daughter became increasingly rebellious. It culminated late one night when the police called to tell her that she had to come to the police station to pick up her daughter, who was arrested for drunk driving. They didn't speak until the next afternoon.
Mom broke the tension by giving her daughter a small gift-wrapped box.
Her daughter nonchalantly opened it and found a small piece of a rock.
She rolled her eyes and said, "Cute Mom, what's this for?"
"Here's the card," Mom said.
Her daughter took the card out of the envelope and read it. Tears started to trickle down her cheeks.
She got up and gave her mom a big hug as the card fell to the floor.
On the card were these words:
"This rock is more than 200 million years old. That's how long it will take before I give up on you."
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