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Collie + Lhasa Apso = Collapso, a dog that folds up for easy transport
Pekinese + Lhasa Apso = Peekasso, an abstract dog
Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever = Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research scientists
Great Pyrenees + Dachshund = Pyradachs, a puzzling breed
Pointer + Setter = Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet
Terrier + Bulldog = Terribull, a dog that makes awful mistakes
Bloodhound + Labrador = Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly
Malamute + Pointer = Moot Point, owned by...oh, well, it doesn't matter
Collie + Malamute = Commute, a dog that travels to work
A carpet-layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes.
In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. "No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes," he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump.
As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. "Here," she said, handing him his pack of cigarettes. "I found them in the hallway." "Now," she said, "if only I could find my parakeet.”
Late one night at the insane asylum one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!"
Another one said, "How do you know?"
The first inmate said, "God told me!" Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did not!"
The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong.."
"Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're lazy."
"Okay," said the man. "Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife."
A football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play."
The player agreed, and the coach looked into his eyes intently and asks, "Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. What is two plus two?"
The player thought for a moment and then he answered, "4?"
"Did you say 4?" the coach exclaimed, excited that he got it right. At that, all the other players on the team began screaming, "Come on coach, give him another chance!"
A rookie police officer was assigned to ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came over the car's radio telling them to disperse some people who were loitering. The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner. The rookie rolled down his window and said, "Let's get off the corner." No one moved, so he barked again, "Let's get off the corner!" Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled glances in his direction.
Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, "Well, how did I do?"
"Pretty good," replied the veteran, "especially since that was a bus stop."
Wear a hat when feeding seagulls.
--Rocky, Age 9
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